1. A retrospective
The child has established a close emotional connection with the mother between 0– 3 years old and establishes a good attachment relationship. The child can fully experience love and then have the ability to love.The premise.
Between the 3-5 years old, the child starts to attach to the parents who are the opposite sex. At this time, parents must take care of the child’s attachment, face it calmly, do not stimulate the child, must not laugh at the child, and do not let the child feel guilty.
At the age of 6, children began to have interest in same -sex partners until adolescence.
Since the age of 10, children have begun to have interest in parents of same -sex and complete their imitation and identification of homosexual parents.This is a very important psychological task in the growth process of children.Through the imitation and identification of homosexual parents, children have a certain understanding of their gender characters, and then they like their gender characters.
No matter boys and girls, mothers must learn to let go.0 — Between 3 years old, the more intimate emotional connections between children and mothers, the easier it is to be psychologically separated from the mother.This is a cruel reality, and the mother must accept it.From the age of 5, children must be interested in dad first, and when they are 6 years old, they will have interest in their companions.
After entering the above process, the child’s ability to have love is to establish a psychological relationship with others.
Two, sex and body
1. When the child is 2-3 years old, parents will train their children’s urination. This is a factor that may affect the child’s future marriage relationship.If the training is too strict, children will have certain psychological obstacles in the future.
2. When the child touches his genitals
Parents don’t have to be too nervous. In short, it is simply like other organs, such as the eyes, not touching, afraid of soaring, and bacteria on their hands.
3. Sex game
If you find your child and other companions, you are doing sex games.Don’t panic, don’t get angry. In the eyes of children, they are learning, and to perceive what parents look like through the game.
Third, sex and self -image
Self -image is your own evaluation of yourself and satisfaction with yourself.A good self -image means that he is very satisfied with yourself and has a high evaluation of yourself.
The indulgence is because of the low self -image.Calling is a manifestation of avoidance of responsibility and conflict, and is to escape maturity.It is usually the cause of the family.There is no atmosphere of emotional exchanges in the family. The child feels that the relationship is empty and the parents are not able to care. The parents discipline is very strict or let go of the self -current.
Fourth, adolescence sex education
1. Attitude determines everything
In the process of interacting with their children, parents will pass on some sexual attitudes, and children will accept it and then internalize them into their own consciousness.For example, every time my mother came to menstruation, she complained that when she was particularly unlucky and troublesome to be a woman, it would have a bad impact on her daughter.
2. Knowing the cause of your child’s physical changes
Any changes in adolescent children’s body are accelerated because of the secretion of hormones in the body.Especially the secretion of sex hormones.Men are the male hormones secreted by testicular, and women are estrogen secreted by ovarian.
Nocturnal nocturnal boys will have nocturnal emission.Dad should talk to his son in advance.For the first time, her son appeared in nocturnal emission, which was usually very nervous and panicked.Because the son didn’t know what happened.Some will still feel guilty, because there may be sex dreams in dreams.Tell your son, "This is because you have grown up, it is a thing worth celebrating!" You can explain that it is the reason for the testicular, or you can not explain it.
Menstruation daughters will have menstruation.The girl’s situation should generally pay more attention.Because menstruation flows out of the vagina.Girls will be more panicked and scared.Mom must be a careless person, it is best to tell the child in advance.And when the daughter came to take care of the child and teach children how to use sanitary napkins.Of course, if the relationship between the mother and the daughter is very close, the effect of teaching in advance is the best.
When Western parents came to menstruation for the first time, they would have a grand family gathering, and celebrating her daughter has grown up.We may not accept it too much, but telling the daughter that this is a normal physiological phenomenon, indicating that the daughter has grown up, and these ideas must be let the children know.
3. When an extreme situation occurs
If you know that the daughter of adolescent is pregnant, what is your first reaction, and how would you deal with it?
Remember, your incorrect approach may push your daughter to destroy.
Standing from the perspective of her daughter, she must be scared, helpless, and helpless. The boy is generally not as calm as an adult, and he is also panicked.Even if you are a very traditional person, you have to protect your daughter. Mom should take care of the child. Do not indicate that this is very shameful in words and body language.
At this time, daughters need to accompany, care, comfort, and love.Don’t say a word of blame, soothe your daughter’s emotions is the most important.After things pass, you can talk to your daughter again.
The attitude of the parents should be the same for the boy who is in such a thing.
Real cases in Hong Kong
In Hong Kong, two adolescent children are in love, both in high school students, and they are finally pregnant. The girls and boys are scared and do not know how to deal with it. Finally, they hugged each other.
After the incident, it caused a huge sensation in Hong Kong.Relevant persons have called for strengthening sexual education in adolescence and calling for measures to prevent similar incidents from occurring.
I have been emphasizing that when the child is unable to solve and has a tricky thing, will the child ask you for help?
4. Masturbation (masturbation), sexual dream, sexual fantasy
According to data from the Institute of Sexual Sciences in the United States, masturbation is common.Masturbation is masturbation, stimulate your genitals with your hands, and then reach orgasm.
Whether it is a boy or a girl, masturbation may occur.Because it may be unintentionally rubbed to the genitals, the child will feel comfortable, and then it may actively stimulate.
Psychology is now basically harmless to determine masturbation.However, excessive masturbation is harmful, and in addition, due to some wrong concepts on children’s psychology, it will have a bad impact.
① Excessive masturbation and excessive masturbation are harmful.It can cause the mental spirit of adolescents and have no energy.In fact, excessive masturbation adolescents generally have certain psychological obstacles.Generally, it is too introverted to participate in sports and art activities. Interpersonal communication is unsuccessful, poor communication with people, and high pressure.If parents find it, do not think that their children are moral problems, and they should find out the root cause of the problem.Children are generally painful, but they cannot pull out from it.Because each masturbation can relieve your pressure and feel comfortable.This is just a way to respond to reality by a teenager’s error.
② The wrong concept of masturbation believes that masturbation is a harmful concept, which will make adolescent children feel a sense of guilt and feel guilty and guilty.It brings tremendous psychological pressure to children, and feels that they are corrupt and low.In addition, the traditional Chinese concept believes: "A drop of sperm, ten drops of blood." It will also make young people feel that they are spending their own semen and hurting their vitality.Among them, the ancient Chinese proposed that this concept was to alert the world: not indulging.Selection is hurting the vitality.
It can be said that the huge psychological pressure of some wrongs to masturbate the masturbation children’s psychological pressure is very lethal to the children.Pay attention to this as parents.If you can talk to your child better, if the child talks to you about masturbation, it must not make the child feel guilty. It is harmless to penetrate masturbation to the child.Then pay attention to the child’s emotional state, encourage children to participate in the activities of their peers, or go out to play by themselves.
Sexual dreams are sexual relationships with the opposite sex in dreams, or intimate contact.Another is sexual fantasy.Sexual fantasies can occur in a sober state during the day.
Sexual dreams and sexual fantasies are due to the result of strong sex hormone secretion. Of course, there may be incentives in the environment.Whatever the situation is normal.What parents should do is to guide their children, do not put dreams and fantasies into action, and let children know that it is normal.
5. Sexual behavior, contraception, accidental pregnancy
The reality that no one can deny is children in adolescence, and some have stolen forbidden fruit.It is sexual relationship with the opposite sex.
As a parent, we should know that if your child and the opposite sex occur, it is caused by the failure of parents.
A girl, if her father can give her enough care, other boys cannot enter the girl’s heart.A mother can give her son enough care, and other girls cannot enter the boy’s heart.
All children who have sex with the opposite sex during adolescence are because of the problems in the family.Generally, the care of the parents at home is not ignored, and the discipline is very strict. The expectations of the parents are particularly high, they are under pressure, and they often feel bad. They can not experience happiness at home and school.
We imagine that a girl, at home, my mother was nagging, my father criticized herself, I couldn’t feel happy. When I arrived at school, my learning pressure was very stressful. The teacher hated himself.Suddenly one day, a boy wrote a note for himself and said he liked himself.I am afraid and worry about others, but I must be very happy.The girl must be reserved, ignoring that boy.Then every day, boys will look at the girl at the entrance of the school.One day, the world was raining. The boy was still waiting for the girl to come to school at the door, and the girl was finally moved.
In fact, why isn’t our love story like this!
If your daughter said to you, he received a note.General mothers will say: who wrote, what content, is very nervous and worried in the tone.That’s bad, my daughter will not talk to you anymore in the future.
Mom can say this: pretending not to be surprised at all: Oh, you received a note.Congratulations to you, my mother received it when you were younger than you, and always wanted to ask you, it was a good thing.It shows that my daughter is better and some people like it.Finally, I wrote a word, then what do you think of that boy.Like the conversation of close friends among two girlfriends.In this way, the daughter will then talk about her opinion.Remember, don’t talk about tone of teachings. You can say that this is my opinion, what do you think.There is also sharing your own experience.You can say that at the time, many boys wrote to me, and I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I asked your grandmother, your grandmother said, it’s still early, and take your time.Don’t worry about your daughter asking grandmother.
It is the same if the boy talks about a girl who likes a girl.
The opinions of experts are not the same.It depends on the relationship between you and the child, the specific situation of the child.
My opinion is that if adolescent children know how to contracence, many tragedies can be avoided.However, those who oppose opinions believe that teaching children to contraception may be a kind of induction for children and encourage children to try sex.
In the biological textbooks of junior high schools, the content of fertilization and embryonic development is about people.After the children knew it, there was no fuss.
Finally, I emphasize that if your child has sex with the opposite sex, you must reflect on your way of your child and love your child.
If an accidental pregnancy occurs, the child should be comforted.It has been mentioned above.
6. Recommended articles
Easter egg story
Adventures of fertilization
Pay attention to adolescence sex education
Existing problems and countermeasures in adolescent development
How do parents deal with children in adolescence
These are all the logs I wrote before. Under the classification of boutiques, you can refer to it.
7. Several other specific issues
① The size of the penis and breasts
Some people are distressed by their penis shorts throughout their lives, and even affect their sexual function.The same is true for girls. The size of her breasts is a problem.
When I talk about the problem of appearance, I may let a person inferior.These may affect themselves, and their children will be distressed to children.
If the child talks to you about this topic, you must tell your son that the size of the penis has a personal difference, but the difference is not large in the state of erection, and the size of the penis is not related to the strength of sexual function.Tell the child the truth, it will reduce the anxiety of the child.
Mom can also say to her daughter like this that everyone’s development is different.Some are early, some are late, and the size of the breast is very different.There is no effect on fertility and sex.Let your daughter know that even if her breasts are small, they are very cute.
② Excessive foreskin, Tangyu
This is what Dad should care about his son.One is to see if you need surgery, and the other is to pay attention when cleaning, open the foreskin, and wash the contents inside.When Dad takes a bath with his son, he can do it for his son once.
③ How to clean the vulva
This is important to boys and girls.Teach children the right way and develop good habits.Especially girls, because the girl’s vulva is very close to the anus, it is easy to infection.
④ Menstruation hygiene
This is what mother should teach her daughter.For example, do not eat cold foods or drinks during menstruation, do not take a cold bath, keep your mood comfortable, do not do too severe sports activities, etc.
In addition, it is necessary to mention that the girl’s first menstruation, even a few times a few times, is not very regular, telling her daughter that it is normal.If there is still no regularity after half a year, you will go to consult a gynecologist.There are also dysmenorrhea problems.
8. Several problems in sex education
① In fact, sexual education is not just to teach children’s sexual knowledge, but also to teach children a kind of knowledge and attitude.Sexual morality is a very important point.Let children understand: respect the opposite sex and get along with equality.The first is to be very satisfied with your gender, and then respect the opposite sex, knowing that gender is a natural existence.No one is the problem of bad and who is bad.
② Sexual legal awareness let adolescent children know that forcibly sex with the opposite sex is illegal. Of course, it is also illegal if others violate their physical sensitive parts.Tell your parents first, and then you can ask for help or reporting the case from the relevant departments.
③ Educating children’s self -protection in sex can be sexually assaulted like girls and girls.Tell your son that his genitals cannot be touched casually. When strangers need to contact themselves intimately, they must refuse.Girls should pay more attention to self -protection, and many parts of the body cannot be touched casually.
④ Parents’ attitude towards sexual attitudes to sexual attitudes to sex directly affects their children’s future marriage.Sexuality is not just sexual intercourse.The hug between husband and wife, other intimate contact, is also part of sex, or part of sex.In addition, parents’ attitudes towards their gender, attitude towards marriage, and so on.
For example, the mother and father divorced because the father had an affair, and the mother kept saying in front of her daughter how the man was unreliable and how bad it would have a bad impact on his daughter’s future marriage.Similarly, Dad said that his mother was bad, saying that women were bad, either water -based poplars, or vicious heart, and would also have a bad impact on her son’s future marriage.
9. How do parents talk to their children sex
Remember, children will not have no teacher.Many parents think that they do not need to provide sex education for their children. When they are at a certain age, their children will naturally, but it is not.Children generally know how to perform sexual activities after adulthood.But there will be many wrong ideas.In that case, it will affect the marriage relationship, and marriage is prone to problems.In addition, after entering the adolescence, due to the acceleration of sex hormones, the development of sexual organs is gradually mature, and children will definitely become interested in their physical changes.
If there is no suitable way to obtain the correct sexual knowledge, the child will pass other ways.Such as networks, novels and so on.The information provided on the Internet is really worrying.
The school itself should have the responsibility to provide correct sexual knowledge, but lacks professional teachers.
When discussing with children, the most important thing is the attitude of parents.You may be nervous, and your face is very red. You can tell your son like this. When Dad is young, no one talks to his father. Now Dad wants you to talk about this topic, but his father is nervous.When you say your tension, such a son will understand you.Your nervousness will gradually decrease.
The embarrassment is what most parents will face, need a process, and then gradually enter a calm and calm state.
If you talk about sex with your children, it will affect the child’s view of sex.
What parents should know is that sex itself is a beautiful thing.
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