1. A man is boring for his girlfriend.The friend asked: "What’s wrong with buddy? What happened to his girlfriend?" The man complained: "Hey, I ate more than ten tablets every time for contraceptive medicine. Why is my girlfriend still pregnant?""Because I didn’t eat other men."
2. The young man and his philosophy teacher walked on the road after the rain, but found that the teacher always walked into the mud.The young man asked the teacher: "If you don’t go in a flat place, how can you go to the bumpy mud?" The teacher said, "If you want to stay deep in your footprints, don’t pick a smooth and comfortable road!"
3. When I was about to get off work today, my girlfriend called: "Come back, have surprises", go home full of expectations, "Dear, come on, look at the fish soup I made for you", open the lid, full, full, fullA pot of soup, coriander, green onion, wolfberry, and of course a fish swim inside!
4, quarreled with my girlfriend, I wanted to ignore her with her, so I transferred her Alipay 520 yuan in the morning, and then transferred to a 1314 yuan.Later, she sent a message: If you have sincere words, don’t say it twice in a word.I was frightened on the spot and died.
5. The fat physics teacher did an experiment to make the students understand the phenomenon of light refraction.She filled the glass with water and asked, "Assuming that I am a sun, inserted into the water, what about the result?" A student replied: "The water overflows!"
6. A couple who has been married for many years, a day of his wife questioned his husband: "When we are in love with the time, you said that if I marry you, even if I want the moon in the sky, you will pick it up.I have married you, but you promised to give me the moon. "My husband forgot to the window, saying," It’s not that I don’t give you to pick it up.","
7. Xiao Wang called the manager early in the morning: "Manager, I will have to go to work at night tonight, and I have a little trouble at home." "What trouble?" "My wife lost 500 yuan. She was looking for it.. "" She looked for her, but also affected you to work? "" No, that … that money is stepped on my feet. "
8. The wife called her husband and deliberately changed the voice: "Guess, who am I?" When the husband heard it, he immediately excitedly and said, "My good sister, are you Lili of the XX Night Club?"As soon as the wife was furious and restored her voice: "Who do you say is Lili?" The husband was shocked and quickly changed his tone and said, "Guess! Who am I?"
9. Watching movies in the cinema, the heroine’s shots appeared on the screen, and her husband suddenly jumped.I was angry: "Sit down and see your unproductive look!" My husband said incoherently: "No … I think of the bathing and forgetting the faucet after taking a shower!"
10. A fashionable woman’s birthday, drove home with friends after drinking and celebrating, was stopped by Pol.ice.Pol.ice took out the alcohol detector to make her blow. The woman smiled and said: Can I give a wish before blowing?
11. One day, a mm saw her boyfriend with a beautiful girl on the road. She was very close. She asked him angrily: "I never thought you were a bastard who liked the old and the old!" The boyfriend hurriedly explained: "You misunderstood, you are new, she is the old. "
12. Buddy who played with me from an early age, and his target to eat, I told him that the two of us were playing with big buttocks.The woman returned to thunder me completely: what happened to the big buttocks, we played the light buttocks!Intersection